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Top 10 Best Bill Clinton Jokes

#10

 

There is a rumor in Britain that President Clinton is going to be knighted by Queen Elizabeth. Which is really odd, because usually women are on their knees in front of him.

--CONAN O'BRIEN

 
#9
 

In an effort to help get the airline industry back on track, Ex-President Bill Clinton announced he would fly commercial airlines four times this week. Of course, it's Clinton, you don't know if he's trying to be patriotic, or if he just likes getting patted down.

--JAY LENO

 
#8
 

President Bush's approval rating is ninety percent. That is huge. Do you realize that is higher than the approval rating Bill Clinton has in his own family?

--JAY LENO

 
#7
 

Former president Bill Clinton was elected on this very day in 1992. Clinton went on to leave quite a mark in the oval office... You mean the one on the sofa?

--CRAIG FERGUSON

 
#6
 

This Thursday Bill Clinton will dedicate his new presidential library in Little Rock, Arkansas. They say the Clinton Library will attract more than 300,000 visitors a year. One of the most popular attractions ... you'll be able to ride the mechanical intern.

--JAY LENO

 
#5
 

President Clinton may be getting his own TV show on NBC. He could be the first president to ever be both impeached and cancelled. They're going to pay the guy $50 million. And that's not all. If I know Clinton, he's going to be getting a little something extra under the table.

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
#4
 

Yesterday President Bush was at Mt. Rushmore. Don't confuse this with former President Clinton who was just in a rush to mount more.

--JAY LENO

 
#3
 

The $10 million Clinton is getting for his book beats the old record of $8.5 million paid to the Pope. How do you think this makes the Pope feel? The man dedicates his life to the 10 Commandments, he gets 8.5. Clinton breaks every one of them, he gets 10.

--JAY LENO

 
#2
 

It's actually longer than the new Harry Potter book. And both of them, I believe, are about a boy and his wand.

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
#1
 

Just like Clinton, the book will come with a jacket and no pants.

--JAY LENO

 
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