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Top 10 Best Erma Bombeck Quotes

#10

 

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#9
 

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#8
 

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#7
 

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#6
 

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#5
 

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#4
 

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#3
 

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#2
 

God created man, but I could do better.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
#1
 

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

--ERMA BOMBECK

 
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