Top 10 Best
BROWSE TOP TEN LISTS BY SUBJECT: A | B | C | DE | F | G | H | IJKLM | NOP | QRSTU | VW | X | Y | Z
 

 

RELATED LINKS

 

Death Quotes

Death Poems

Top 10 Best Death Quotes

Death Quotes

The Dance of Death

Top 10 Best Heaven Quotes

Top 10 Best Hell Quotes

Top 10 Best God Quotes

 

SPONSORED LINKS

 
 
 

 
 
Top 10 Funniest Death Quotes

#10

 

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

--GARRISON KEILLOR

 
#9
 

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

--JOHNNY CARSON

 
#8
 

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

--OSCAR WILDE

 
#7
 

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair?

--JAY LENO

 
#6
 

Dying was just an extended version of Ash Wednesday.

--DON DELILLO

 
#5
 

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

--GEORGE CARLIN

 
#4
 

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy?

--JERRY SEINFELD

 
#3
 

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

--AMBROSE BIERCE

 
#2
 

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

--WOODY ALLEN

 
#1
 

I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.

--BOB MONKHOUSE

 
BROWSE TOP TEN LISTS BY SUBJECT: A | B | C | DE | F | G | H | IJKLM | NOP | QRSTU | VW | X | Y | Z
Home | Quotes | Poems | Trivia | Short Stories | Tarot | Movie Quotes | Plays | Google | Wikipedia | Links

© 2010 - Top10-Best.com