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Top 10 Best Husband Jokes

#10

 

Why do wives use twice as many words as their husbands?

Because they have to repeat everything they say.

 
#9
 

What do you call your husband when he brings you flowers?

Guilty.

 
#8
 

What's the definition of a faithful husband?

One whose alimony checks arrive on time.

 
#7
 

Why are husbands like bank accounts?

One day they're up, the next they're down, and most of the time they show no interest.

 
#6
 

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

 
#5
 

What is the best revenge when another woman steals your husband?

Let her keep him.

 
#4
 

A woman placed an ad in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". The next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

 
#3
 

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

 
#2
 

What's a perfect breakfast for a woman?

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

 
#1
 

After 20 years of marriage, I'm developing an attachment for my husband.
It fits over his mouth.

 
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