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Top 10 Best King of the Hill Quotes

#10

 

Why are we watching a foreign movie? You'd think if it was any good they would make an American version.

--HANK HILL, King of the Hill

 
#9
 

You know, Uncle Hank, God only has ten rules, and he has a much bigger house.

--LUANNE PLATTER, King of the Hill

 
#8
 

NANCY: Dale, get out of the hot tub. We're stealing a news van.

DALE: It's the perfect crime. How would they cover it?

 
#7
 

What happens if my tee shot lands on a bird's back and he carries it out of bounds but then is attacked by a larger bird who grabs the ball and drops it in the hole? Is that still a hole in one? 'Cause that's how I'm gonna play it.

--DALE GRIBBLE, King of the Hill

 
#6
 

HANK: You're the only one who can save my lawn, Dale.

DALE: You're right, I am. The question is -- why should I?

HANK: I'll give you two dollars.

DALE: Pffft. Ha! Two dollars?

HANK: Because you're my friend.

DALE: Oooooooo! I'm Hank's friend! Tie a ribbon around me!

HANK: Because I'm coming to you man to man offering you a genuine apology for choosing a lawn over a lifetime of friendship.

DALE: Geez, Hank. I was only holding out for $2.50.

 
#5
 

Clearly you are not yet comfortable being a leech on The System. Slither into America's large intestine and clamp on, Hank.

--DALE GRIBBLE, King of the Hill

 
#4
 

My dad says butane's a bastard gas.

--BOBBY HILL, King of the Hill

 
#3
 

As long as it took that river to carve the Grand Canyon, that is how long women have been learning to subtly manipulate relationships.

--PEGGY HILL, King of the Hill

 
#2
 

20 years. If your marriage was a murderer it would be out by now.

--DALE GRIBBLE, King of the Hill

 
#1
 

This is a carburetor. Take it apart, put it back together, repeat until you're normal.

--HANK HILL, King of the Hill

 
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