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Top 10 Best Reasons to Quit Your Job

#10

 

Too boring.

Is your position too easy? Is it more of a title than an actual job? Are you just a figurehead in your department? Do you spend large portions of your day playing solitaire on your computer? Well, you know what they say -- idle hands are the devil's workshop. Have your secretary type up that letter of resignation and save your soul! There are plenty of jobs out there that will work you to the bone.

 
#9
 

No coffee.

No coffee? No COFFEE??? What kind of hellhole are you working in?! Get out while you can!

 
#8
 

Too much coffee.

Does your employer pump you full of caffiene in a shamefully obvious attempt to boost productivity? Clearly, they don't care about your health. You should quit and find employment elsewhere -- someplace that provides bottled water and vitamin shots, free of charge, during lunchbreaks.

 
#7
 

Too early.

Tired of cutting off parties at three in the morning because you have to work the next day? No problem. Quit your job and party on! Sleep all day and party all night! (Just make sure to have someone else bring the keg!)

 
#6
 

Too much praise.

Do you feel too wanted? Like a too-clingy girlfriend, a boss that lavishes you with an overabundance of praise can make you feel emotionally crowded and smothered. Just get yourself free, Lee. There are plenty of more laid-back employers out there who are perfectly willing to appreciate you less, if they notice you at all!

 
#5
 

Ugly uniform.

Are you stuck in a job that requires you to wear a really embarrassing outfit? Like those hot-dog-on-a-stick guys. Or a bag piper. Or sumo wrestler. Or Mormon missionary. Well, don't fret. Just quit. Many people are happily employed in jobs that don't require them to sacrifice their dignity by wearing stupid clothes. Some jobs don't require any clothes at all!

 
#4
 

No need to commute.

Is your office too close to home? Are you jealous of all those other employees who come to work every day with interesting stories from the mass transit system? Don't miss out on all that fun. Quit your job and find employment a little further out -- someplace that will allow you to sit in 2 hour traffic jams every day with all the smog you can breathe in as horns blare menacingly around you!

 
#3
 

The fast track makes you dizzy.

Are promotions coming too quickly at your current job? Can you envision yourself as the CEO by year's end? Just remember that when you compete on the big stage, expectations are much higher and every action is scrutinized under a microscope by the investors. How will you get away with all those extra smoke breaks? Quit and start over in the mailroom somewhere else so you can fly under the radar for a few more years!

 
#2
 

Unfair office regulations.

Does your employer forbid sleeping on the job? Keg parties? Sex in the hallway? Fill out your own pink slip and say goodbye to those self-righteous stick-in-the-muds and do-gooders! There are plenty of less regulated jobs out there. Maybe something in a chinese sweat shop?

 
#1
 

Making too much money.

Are you sick and tired of being in the top tax bracket? Probably the biggest problem anyone can encounter in the work force these days is being overcompensated for their efforts. How dare your employer spoil you like this! Doesn't he/she know that poverty builds character?! Take a stand! Be a better person! Quit today and join the ranks of the impoverished but high-character unemployed!!

 
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