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Top 10 Best Rick Perry Jokes

#10

 

It's being reported that Rick Perry met his wife when they were in elementary school. There was another boy that liked her too but Perry had him executed.

--CONAN O'BRIEN

 
#9
 

Perry is a mix between George W. Bush and Yosemite W. Sam.

--JIMMY KIMMEL

 
#8
 

Rick Perry and Mitt Romney squared off at the Republican debate. The only thing they agreed on was 'shampoo, rinse, and repeat.'

--JAY LENO

 
#7
 

There was another big Republican debate tonight in Orlando, Fla. This one was sponsored by Google, which is tricky for Rick Perry because he's a yahoo.

--JAY LENO

 
#6
 

Rick Perry was once a Democrat. Just once, in college. He was experimenting.

--JIMMY KIMMEL

 
#5
 

Rick Perry said America's revolutionary war was fought in the 16th century. When told it was actually the 18th century, Perry apologized and said, 'I never said I was a geology major.'

--CONAN O'BRIEN

 
#4
 

Rick Perry got the date of the American revolution wrong by two centuries. What is it with the right wing? Michele Bachmann doesn't know where the 'Shot Heard 'Round the World' took place, Sarah Palin doesn't know why Paul Revere went on his ride, RickPerry doesn't know that 1776 happened in the 1700's. These aren't gotcha questions. I know this sounds mean about Rick Perry, but if he was a child, you'd leave him behind.

--BILL MAHER

 
#3
 

Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
#2
 

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry. It's just not in a place I can show you.

--KINKY FRIEDMAN

 
#1
 

He's not George Bush on steroids. Rick Perry is what happens if Lex Luther distilled down George Bush essence in a laboratory and crossed it with gun powder and semen from the finest thoroughbred in Lubbock, and then strapped that concoction onto a nuclear missile and shot it into the f*cking sun! And then, waited, waited, waited, until one day, on the anniversarry of the Alamo, a solar flare, yada yada yada, Rick Perry!

--JON STEWART

 
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