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Top 10 Best Rick Santorum Jokes

#10

 

Rick Santorum doesn’t like sex. He doesn’t like the pill. He really doesn’t like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest.

--BILL MAHER

 
#9
 

Rick Santorum is so anti-gay, he doesn't even want pirates touching their own booty. Rick Santorum is so conservative that when he goes to KFC, he only orders the right wings. This guy is so anti-gay, he won't even eat a Hershey bar if it has nuts.

--JAY LENO

 
#8
 

Rick Santorum said he believes that Satan has his sights on America. Apparently Satan is still upset about the time he went down to Georgia and lost that fiddle.

--JIMMY KIMMEL

 
#7
 

Rick Santorum is so conservative, he won't even shop at Dick's Sporting Goods. He wants mailmen to stop wearing those shorts. He thinks a threesome is playing golf with two other guys. He's so conservative, he won't even shop at a store that has parking in the rear.

--JAY LENO

 
#6
 

Rick Santorum today won the Kansas caucuses beating Mitt Romney by 30 percent. Santorum was expected to do well in Kansas because it's also a giant square.

--SETH MEYERS

 
#5
 

Rick Santorum said today that during his 16 years in Congress, he was an outsider the whole time. You know what? After 16 years, you're not an outsider. You're just unpopular.

--JAY LENO

 
#4
 

Rick Santorum is so conservative; he thinks KY Jelly is jam made in Kentucky.

--JAY LENO

 
#3
 

Rick Santorum wants to crack down on pornography. Most political analysts say it could hurt him with the 'every single man in America' vote.

--JIMMY KIMMEL

 
#2
 

Santorum is so conservative he won't even let the UPS guy handle his package. That's how conservative.

--JAY LENO

 
#1
 

Rick Santorum said he's not worried about unemployment. Well, he will be in November.

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
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