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Top 10 Best Ron Paul Jokes

#10

 

Ron Paul -- he looks like a guy you'd keep overnight for observation.

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
#9
 

Ron Paul says that he has a big youth following. You can tell by looking at the guy he's a regular Justin Bieber.

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
#8
 

Both Rand Paul and Ron Paul have been talking about a run in 2012, so they have something in common with my father and I which is we're also not going to get elected president. I, of course, would love to see a debate between a father and son. Rebuttal: "Dad, you ruin everything!"

--SETH MEYERS

 
#7
 

Ron Paul, of all people, is surging in the polls. When Mitt said, 'My gloves are coming off,' Ron Paul said, 'OK, my teeth are coming out.' And doctors have confirmed that Ron Paul is incapable of a sex scandal.

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
#6
 

In a speech, Ron Paul described himself to the crowd as “dangerous.” Yeah, then one of his handlers fed him some warm milk through an eye dropper and he fell asleep in a shoebox.

--CONAN O'BRIEN

 
#5
 

Ron Paul looks like one of your old relatives. The guy that keeps sending you the blank emails.

--DAVID LETTERMAN

 
#4
 

Republican candidate Ron Paul came out for the legalization of heroin and prostitution, unfortunately not in time to be cast as Charlie Sheen’s replacement on Two and a Half Men.

--CONAN O'BRIEN

 
#3
 

Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn't win, that's going to be one heck of an election night party.

--JAY LENO

 
#2
 

Ron Paul said he's "nibbling at mitt Romney’s heels." At 76 years old, I hope somebody's cutting Romney’s heels into bite-sized pieces for him.

--CRAIG FERGUSON

 
#1
 

There was another Republican debate on Saturday, and listen to this: Ron Paul only got 89 seconds to speak. Seriously? Rick Perry gets more time than that to try to remember something.

--JIMMY FALLON

 
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