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Top 10 Best Seinfeld Quotes

#10

 

You'd better pick up your dog tonight or he has humped his last leg!

--ELAINE BENES, Seinfeld

 
#9
 

I have no funny friends. I'm the funny one. El-Clowno!

--GEORGE COSTANZA, Seinfeld

 
#8
 

You know, I don't get it. Since when are you not allowed to ask a Chinese man where a Chinese restaurant is? I mean, aren't we getting a little too sensitive here? If someone asks me, "which direction is Israel," I don't go flying off the handle.

--JERRY SEINFELD, Seinfeld

 
#7
 

I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st ... How can the same street intersect with itself? It must be at the nexus of the universe!

--COSMO KRAMER, Seinfeld

 
#6
 

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.

--JERRY SEINFELD, Seinfeld

 
#5
 

You don't understand. A garage... I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?

--GEORGE COSTANZA, Seinfeld

 
#4
 

GEORGE COSTANZA: You're really moving to California?

COSMO KRAMER: [points to his head] Up here, I'm already gone.

 
#3
 

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can't do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

--JERRY SEINFELD, Seinfeld

 
#2
 

Only I could fail at failing.

--GEORGE COSTANZA, Seinfeld

 
#1
 

ELAINE BENES: Why does everything have to be so ... jokey with you?

JERRY SEINFELD: I'm a comedian.

 
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