Why did the Borg cross the road?

Because it assimilated the chicken!

What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?

Worf Speed.

What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine?

"Make it sew."

What happened when Yeoman Rand complained that someone had cut a peephole in her cabin door?

Captain Kirk promised to look into it.

How many members of the USS Enterprise does it take to change a
light bulb?

Six: Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, "I canna do it, Cap'n!", Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically, McCoy to say "Dammit, Jim -- I'm a doctor not an electrician!!", Kirk to screw it in, and two red-shirt security officers to die in the process.

What is Riker's dating philosophy?

If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again.

What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?

A croaking device.

Why did Worf change his hair color?

It was a good day to dye.

Why is Kirk a better captain than Picard?

One word: hair.
Kirk never drinks tea.
Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won.
Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed.
Kirk's bridge is not beige.